I, The Honourable Drisian Forselig Rothuliaz, Minister of Information for the Vrozlydian Empire, have compiled what I believe to be the most bizarre and stimulating audio recordings recently declassified by Emperor Zebulon Kosted. These files are between 100 and 400 years old and have now been deemed fit for public listening. They will join the main archive of slightly over 74 Quintillion audio files collected by intelligence probes over the last 6,000 years throughout the universe. To count the hours of recorded material in the royal archives is considered a bottomless undertaking.