AVANT STUPID by Evil Moisture & Expose Your Eyes
I was apparently good friends with Lars Ulrich, and a bouncer handed me the sandpaper part of a matchbox with ANDY written in Lars' scrawl; this was his invite to the backstage on some festival, which was a huge mess inside, super complicated to find the Metallica part and no real idea why I had to.
First I had to put my stuff on this giant conveyor belt which was swallowing up hundreds of frantic people's clothes and other possessions, making an effort to keep it visible by keeping the rewired toys etc sticking out.
Soon realizing this was futile I headed to some security types explaining that my place was near the upturned car-henge sculpture, which they didn't believe was true, and instead directed me into this shop selling only the cheapest made in China junk, which became a search for 33 cent energy drinks called things like GUZZLE and GOFORIT, pausing to look at sets of incredibly badly-molded and half-melted skull/pirateship/heidi architecture objects which had crunchy, near-unintelligible due to their length and low bitrate, 2-bit samples of a phoney Vincent Price type voice reading boring horror and mystery stories, with fading stickers peeling off.
At certain points throughout this I was getting updates from my friend about the rehearsals for the piano concert he had to do later that day. David was the voice of caution, telling me it was wrong to pretend it was me and take the cash when I was asked by some "staff" if I'd lost a bunch of money.
Anyway, he was pissed off because for one part of his performance they would have to carry his piano quickly up 8 flights of stairs so he could play a piano solo. I asked why they couldn't have another piano up there, and he angrily replied that that was obviously impossible because it wouldn't sound like the same piano. I mumbled something about it being too bad they didn't have those USB-key type things that make pianos sound the same whichever one you plug the key into.
A few days earlier, L and I were supposed to be finishing the speaker installation for a big rectangular monument in New York that was as important as the statue of liberty and the grand canyon. The job was for Elizabeth Taylor, who was a friend of ours.
- A.Bolus
Tracklist
| 1. | NEURON CHOP | 7:21 |
| 2. | PEDAL TO THE MEATAL | 5:15 |
| 3. | ANTI-INTESTINAL GUM BAGS | 2:10 |
| 4. | ART IS CHEESE | 10:39 |
| 5. | JELLIED EELS VS. ANT LEG GUM | 2:59 |
| 6. | BAT NABBED IN SMUT RAID | 4:32 |
| 7. | DUNKIN' DONTNUTS | 24:08 |
