ostalgian by Simon Aulman

Not sure if that's the storm out there right now - can see a tree moving from side to side so something must be happening. But aren't I lucky to have something indoorsy to doooooo - something that isn't gaming or gambling or screeny wanking or TVing or the ten hours of other modern stuff - but god no, just joking, this is the same shite as anything else - reasons to be cheerful none none none. Not sure why Life never took off. This was supposed to be the start of the years with the camper van or the world cruises or working for charities. Instead - well yesterday was lovely, we went to some Blue Bird Cafe thing in an industrial estate and then drove to Milford - the road from Keyhaven was flooded, first time I've ever seen that.

But the main thing you notice is that villages aren't villages anymore. I was indoctrinated with the idea that a village had about 50 houses in it or something. But nowadays anything with about 250,000 houses is a village, half a million houses is a town, and a whole county of solid concrete is a city. And everywhere is all joined up anyway.

Yesterday we drove from village to village along the south coast and never left the one long strip of housing estate. But Milford was the best. Definitely the winner of the classiest Christmas Lights thingy - the green planted with lit-up trees, random selections of animals and people and mangers scattered around, signs warning you that the whole thing is under CCTV eyes and if you spend ten hours vandalising the whole thing then you might get your smudgy unrecognisable outline on page 86 of the local newspaper - Have You Seen This Man or it might be a woman, anything without legs is covered with really convincing fake snow and little furry animals.

Nothing moves me nowadays and the only thing that keeps me going is noticing that everyone else is having an even shittier time of it than I am - so whatever the fuck I'm doing, I've just got to keep on doing it, holding onto nurse for fear of the doctor coming into my life with the news that that's end, I should've done the world cruise and the TV Times.

recorded today, not especially brilliant and the Scriabin album of a while ago is still the best of this type. Anyway. It's not bad. Photo Milford On Sea yesterday