editarrhoea by Simon Aulman

Here's only the second best-of album I've ever done.

I suppose I was thinking of an LP when I did this - though that middle track is a bit in the way. I guess, timewise, it has to go at the end of side 1 - but it's really meant to start side 2. I often keep myself updated on my feelings re vinyl and whether I do at last regret getting rid of all my LPs etc, and the answer is still No. Yes I am a bit stunned at how much some of my old LPs are (would be) now worth. But I have the blank walls where they would now be, and I find these preferable - restful. And I am also a bit alarmed at how much new LPs sell for. If this "album" really was an LP - probably a double-LP - I'd give them all away for nothing if I could. Or pay to have them taken away. That's how I feel.

The local paper's been saying for a while that loads of cruise ships are going to be in town soon or somewhen. Well they seem to have arrived today. Lots of Germans and Americans this morning and they've all been given maps which clearly bear no good witness to what is around them. I do feel sorry for tourists. Especially ones that come to the UK, especially-especially ones that come to Southampton. The line of big bins outside the Guildhall - now all over Germany and the USA hundreds of people are looking at Facebook photos of these objects and maybe even liking them.

Well I like them too. I do try to like everything. In fact, things and places that are too pretty are often things/places that I find sterile. It's like the difference between pretty and sexy in a person. People who are pretty and "perfect" do nothing for me, they will be relieved to hear. But sexy - sexy has imperfections - and sexy is staggeringly attractive. I have fallen in love with women who are probably very unattractive in the conventional sense - they are the bins outside the Guildhall - and I do understand why someone would come thousands of miles to see them.

There is no pressure to like sexy, and so we can be ourselves. I am only ever bored in "beautiful" cities. Bath left me cold. Oxford I find truly ugly. I do have a soft spot for Salisbury Cathedral, but the rest of the city - ugly.

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Four of the five tracks on this album (1, 2, 4 & 5) are straight-forward edits taken from long pieces by Kirsten Svuure. Track # 3 has never been released before. Everything was made in the last few days, except 2 and 4 which were made a couple of weeks ago or so. Photo taken a couple of hours ago. No I almost never play the guitar.