Bad Apple from Bad Apple by Sam Bayer

Little old ladies see me coming, best little doobie they could hope to meet
They jostle to catch my eye, to carry their groceries, help them cross the street
They say my parents raised me right
But they can’t make me like it

I hear my next door neighbor coming, ringing the doorbell, calling on the phone
Don’t care what he wants to borrow, he’s already borrowed everything I own
He drinks my water, breathes my air
My lawn is parched, my clothes are damp
I’ve got no kidney I can spare
Here in Mr. Rogers’ prison camp

Just once
I’d like to know how it feels
To lay down the law and disregard the appeals
Spoil the other apples in the tray
Be a bastard for a day
Yes, just once

I wanna take what I stole from the payroll and waste it on hookers and blow
Explain to the cop that I won’t stop just because the sign says so
Yell at the neighbor’s spawn to get off my lawn
Get a nipple ring and a rude tattoo
And shoot a man in Reno just because I’m not supposed to

Just once
I’d like to know how it feels
To chase down the law and grind it under my wheels
Mock the other apples in the tray
Be a cancer for a day
Yes, just once

I’m a crossing guard and a registered voter
A teacher’s aide and a curteous boater
I compost, and mentor, and volunteer
Feels like whenever the buck stops, the buck stops here

Just once
I’d like to know how it feels
To lay down the law and disregard the appeals
Spoil the other apples in the tray
Be an asshole for a day
Yes just once

• Acoustic
• pop folk singer songwriter
• Boston