Norman Gunston by ron van der zwaag

His tux was always buttoned wrong
He’d forgot to take off the dry cleaning tag
Ill at ease in his own skin
His comb-over was laminated
Strips of crimson tissue paper
Plastered over the nicks from his morning shave
Why don’t you use electric razors?
He replied with a frown
But I do

He seemed harmless though profoundly odd
Warren Beatty looked a tad uneasy
Ali told him “I’ve been punched a lot.
What’s your excuse for being crazy?”
Sally Struthers doubled up with laughter
And we loved this girl for playing along
He never knew that much about em
He’d just tell em about
Wollongong

BRIDGE
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah (arrangement)

Was the celeb the gag?
Or was he the gag?
Or were we the gag?
Was there even a gag? (Repeat)

He told us stuff that we already knew
Like “Use your hanky. It’s the Aussie thing to do”
He’d fall apart at any hint of sex
‘Funny business’ never failed to make him sweat
Something Christ-like in his second rateness
On the box he atoned for our dagginess
He did awkward to the point of greatness
It was a bare-knuckle ride
I’ll never forget.

• Alternative
• Folk
• folk
• folk pop
• indie folk
• singer-songwriter
• Bathurst