Blue Boxes by Rachel Rhodes

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I guess I regressed.

Back to us driving around Austin, and the joy and hush before a new song from "Remain in Light" debuted on our favorite radio station.

Back to me playing mad scientist alone in my bedroom to pass quiet afternoons until you returned from a mysterious place called “The Road.”

I guess it was easier to imagine that you were still out there somewhere. Preparing a performance. That you would call when you could. That you could call and you would.

To remain in light, I made up a new game every day, listened for subtle changes in sound. Sometimes I played the same melodies again and again the way a little kid zones out and sings naive nonsense over and over. I let myself play. I lost the empty hours that way.

Memories stack onto each other in thin layers. I can see through those on top to those below. Until the thin layers grow too thick. A few deep down shine up, shine through. Strangely ordinary. But from now on, nothing new.

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