I Apologize from Ephemeral by Phiners

I must die
With this clutched coldly
In the grave
It must end with me
For there is nothing
That I can say

You fucking fool!
Damn you, damn you, damn you
You jeopardized everything
You fucking fool!
Damn you, damn you, damn you
You’ll ruin everything
Ugh!

And all I can do
Is apologize to myself
I don’t deserve it
But clearly
I’m the one
Who needs help
From myself…

How could I
Backstab
You who love me
Straight through your precious heart
How could I
Be so cold, so callous
Indifferent
To us being ripped apart

Numbness through ignorance
It's nonexistent
And it must stay that way
I’ll keep it that way

I must die
With this clutched coldly
In the grave
It must end with me
For there is nothing
That I can say

Is the truth
Really better
If it hurts the people
That we love?
No!
They deserve better than the truth
When there is nothing
That can be said or done
To ever deserve forgiveness
For what I’ve done
Goddamn me!
Fucking goddamn me!
I’d rather live with the guilt
Endure the shame
Internalize everything
Than ever make you
Suffer the pain
That I created
I created this hell
So here alone

All alone

I should dwell

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