Thesis Song from College Animal by Neon Relic

I wish I had written this song about a beautiful experience I was having at the time. It started out being about that. Then of course, as they always do, the chemicals take over. The brain becomes a hostage of the molecules it drinks. And now I rot most days. I rot for most of the days. I mostly rot away these days...

Here I sit trying to write,
the world around me stretches
like a painted picture of a lawn.
People, flowers, and their dogs,
wilting sunshine-colored fog,
I'm drowning in a beautiful life,
I'm drowning in this beautiful life

I can't find you among all
this darkened metaphor
disassociation dancing
on a Talking Headless ballroom floor
next day I'll wake up half-drunk, dizzy,
insecure and sore.
the end of the time of my life
the ending of our film score

Here I sit trying to die
the night ballooning into
several easy options to ignore.
Responsible triple chances,
missing my liquored romances
I'm just tired, I'm just tired,
I promise I'm just tired!

I can't find you among all
this darkened metaphor
disassociation dancing
on a Talking Headless ballroom floor
next day I'll wake up half-drunk, dizzy,
insecure and sore.
the end of the time of my life
the ending of our film score

Is it to late to realize that I want to be an artist?
Is it to late to realize that I'm not proud of anything?
I never thought that being sad would be worse than losing my mind
but if I'd gone insane, at least the nurses could tell me I'll be fine
after some sweeter pills, and therapy,
is it the mold, my friends or just time itself,
expiring me?

I can't find you among all
this darkened metaphor
disassociation dancing
on a Talking Headless ballroom floor
next day I'll wake up half-drunk, dizzy,
insecure and sore.
the end of the time of my life
the ending of our film score

• Alternative
• Punk
• acoustic guitar
• emo
• folk punk
• indie
• Portland