***BNB from NO DREAM by Jeff Rosenstock

Sam,
Your mom has secretly been renting out your home. I used the shower sponge when you went to Spain alone. She told us it’s been rough and you deserved a break and marrying that guy, obviously was a mistake - you had a couple kids but now he’s always gone and you’re stuck sweeping hair at your mommy’s hair salon.

The flat you have upstairs, tucked in the suburbs safe, is running low on bread and other amenities ‘cause your mom’s been secretly renting your place.

Al,
Your elevator looked in hella disrepair but I’m not fuckin’ with a dozen flights of stairs. I tenderized my legs somewhere in Germany trying to convince the bored to pay attention to me. The absinthe that we drank? I’m not sure it was real. Massage place in the building? We know what‘s the fuckin’ deal ‘cause fratboys wait outside, pretending their not there, avert their glassy eyes, but I don’t really care.

I don’t wanna lay in bed and stare at the ceiling
While chasing the fleeting
There’s too much in my head to sleep
And I did the thing that movie said,
“Foot on the floor beside the bed”
Still too much in my head to sleep tonight.
Get fucked up, break your stupid bones again.
Get fucked up, lose your telephone again.
Get fucked up, bother all your friends again.
Get fucked up, shame your broken heart again.

I really gotta leave, but I just wanna stay. I’m only a real person for a quarter-dozen days until I gotta scram, until I go away and turn into a person that I didn’t want to be - cultivating mold on my laundry and becoming so afraid I’m honestly placing bets on a chemical crapshoot with my brain.
Cleaning for the dealer so I’ll black out on the plane.
Mumbling in the dark and living vicariously
Through a photo album in a stranger’s BNB.

• Punk
• New York