Shitty Water from White Eagle by Heccra

3/11/2019: This is some of the cringiest shit I've ever had to reread, but let's not erase who I was. To comment on what was written; I was dating a girl who told me she was having sex dreams, not about me, but said she felt bad because she really liked me. I was 18, it sucked to hear that and I didn't understand at the time. Was I actually described as infinitely patient by my friends and family? Absolutely not. I was probably called patient by somebody once in my life and took it straight to the head. The actual sung lyrics about train wrecks was not actually "train wrecks, oh god," but was "train wrecks, are not" and I didn't finish the sentence (writer's block) but changed the lyrics later. Then there is a paragraph where I reassure myself that I am "an alpha" because I was super insecure about myself and full of self doubt. I was an 18-year-old kid, 150 lbs soaking wet, who had never done anything in his life to be confident about other than have a job at a seafood restaurant and see a few girls naked. I chose the greek letters "Kappa Theta" for the name of the girl I "fell in love with," because her name was Katie like "KT."

Original: this track deals with several of my more personal mental issues including entitlement. The first lines are in reference to a girlfriend who had sexual dreams from which I was absent, only during the first few week of our relationship. Despite me claiming I had a lack of patience, my friends and family describe me as infinitely patient. Train Wrecks is an analogy for my prediction of disaster between the both of us. I am reassured that as the male I am with the body I have, that I am in no matter of debate the alpha male in all but a few situations, however the loneliness I claim to feel is always brought on by myself being introverted. As an alpha, I fear loneliness the most. The use of Greek letters was brought on my my friends having joined Fraternities, and lots of Greek stuff was being said in my life. the last line is from a dream I had, where I tortured a rival of mine.

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