Laundering Monsters by Elfpants
"At the end of each three turns the Dungeon Master can roll a die to see if a wandering monster has come down the corridor. A roll of 6 means that something has come "strolling" along. Another die is rolled and if ANOTHER 6 is rolled it would indicate that that something needs to launder it's clothing, where applicable."
ABOUT THIS ALBUM: THE COLES NOTES VERSION!!
First thing's first: this album isn't necessarily for kids, it is pretty NSFW.
Cussing, F bombs, FRENCH cussing, tabernac, violent (comedic) imagery, owning racial slurs, raunchy birthday greetings, reference to certain female body parts and orcses, plenty of filthy orcses make this album NSFW. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
This is the first full length album by the mysterious rapper known only as Elfpants. Much of this came into being well before the pandemic, and was slowly tweaked and geeked and ideas leaked and next thing you know 10 tracks came into existence.
He lives somewhere in Murkwood Forest which would seem to be somewhere in the West End of Montreal... and hence this album has bilingual rapping on a few tracks, namely tracks (6) and (7)... he wears tight junk- and ass- accentuating Elvish trousers, and, and when not taking care of local bands of orcs, goblins and trolls, amongst others, he has a treasure horde of synthesizers and drum machines and iOS devices that helps him capture the sounds he creates with all the other gear.
This album oozes Montreal. Munn-Tree-ALL baby! The greatest city in North America. You don't have to like it but this town is fo shizzle and we all fucking know it. So if you've ever lived here for any period of time you will understand quite a few of the references, that's for sure. We aren't anything special, but we have a lot more character than a lot of places and absurdity and we are beautiful and a lot of that is celebrated here.
Tracklist
| 1. | West End Style | 2:32 |
| 2. | I Licked a Toad | 3:53 |
| 3. | Chica-Chica | 3:17 |
| 4. | O Henry! | 2:39 |
| 5. | A Birthday Rap | 2:15 |
| 6. | GNS Verdun 2019 | 4:32 |
| 7. | Station Angrignon FN Terminus | 4:08 |
| 8. | Orcs Stink | 2:24 |
| 9. | Haunted By You | 3:34 |
| 10. | Medusa | 3:21 |
Credits
ALBUM CREDITS!
Vocals: Elfpants
Beats, Additional Vocals & Programming: DJ Bugbear
I would be remiss not to thank the following outstanding individuals for their most excellent sample worthy voice parts.
Jimmy "Dyn-O-Mite" Walker
Kermit the Frog
The Message Catcher from Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Maurice "Mad Dog" Vachon
Metro Voice Announcement Lady, Michèle Deslauriers
The following have been shamelessly name dropped, and so deserve to be mentioned:
Youppi
Andre Dawson
Sugar Sammy
Nomand Braithwaite
Molières
The others really don't need to be mentioned, you will have to scour my album for those jerk-offs. Especially those fake ass STM Metro security clowns.
Special Thanks to James Duncan for the most excellent Monsters that just needed to be laundered. His art is fantastic, if you are ever in any restaurant near Montreal West you might come across a small card with a monster drawn on it. He makes these monsters, every single day, FOR REAL, and they are left here there and everywhere as gifts for random people that find them. twitter.com/JamesDuncanArt?s=20
Special Thanks to Jon Rawlinson aka pantsofdeath, who drew "Stenchflesh", the rather rotund goblin like creature on the album cover!
MORE Special Thanks to Shawn McClure for his guitars on track (9), Haunted by You. This guy is an amazing friend and musician, I am super chuffed that he played on my first full album. SHAWN YOU ARE AWESOME!!
Album mixed and mastered at Bearcave Studios Montreal using Logic Pro X.
License
All rights reserved.
Elfpants, is the alterego of wordsmith and rapper Jeff McCarthy, who is also the brains behind Supersonic Tartan Death Machine, & Six Sick Thistles
With influences such as The Beastie Boys, They Might Be Giants & Montreal's own Deja Voodoo, amongst others, it is easy to see that the direction is not standard. It is an absurdist look at just about everything & anything. Be prepared to laugh.