Eyes Closed from In Relation by Cassia Hardy

Clutching sheets in vivid sleep,

I can see the thread
through everything
to you.

The day I caught your eye,
my misplaced hand
and you beside me.

I’m bright red watching you
reeling from the blow.

How could I then let you know?
Instead I made you part of me
for so long.

Wednesday night in a mall parkade,
held my breath to stop from swaying.

Our summer of fresh pavement.

Found your flask
while I was packing up one day.
My stomach twisted up with craving,
smelling that last pull.

You were driving
with your eyes closed.

Didn’t I do my part,
tell you which way to go?

Kills me now to think of it,
every plan I’d drop to take.
Kills me now the life I gave.

He didn’t believe in saving lives,
in quick red lights
or stop signs.

How could I never let you know
that I made you part of me
for so long?

Nights too few to justify,
but still too many to name,
for how long ago.
Songs too many to play
and I can’t hear them
without you.

A sober second look says
this is an expulsion.
Of all the songs you’ll never hear
this will be the last one.

• Alternative
• Treaty 6
• amiskwaciy
• indie rock
• pop
• songwriter
• Edmonton