The Hitchhiker from Booys Road by Boys Road

I picked up a hitchhiker on the lonely side of the road
he said "Son, why don't you get into another line of work?"
I replied "I would, but I've got a criminal record that's for sure. I'm basically impossible to work with...

every employer I've had uses the word useless to much
I'm not really a people person
I bought a jetski the day before my wedding
and I got divorced the day after
I have a problem with authority
I'm cynical when I should be sincere
I don't brush my teeth
I'm currently staying on my best friend from high school's couch
corporate dress codes are for losers
business casual is for losers
I'm the guy that says your joke louder to the room
I won ninth most improved
hope my great aunt doesn't die before my birthday next month,
I'm really counting on her annual cheque
I have no platform of beliefs and will argue on any front
most days I'm not even presentable
I whistle while I talk amongst countless other annoying proclivities

...but I'm thinking of dropping some resumes off soon."

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