Change! from Limbo by Ryan Benis

Yeah!
Oh yeah, rodeo!

I am not doing well
Locked the door couldn't get out for three years
That was my punishment
For believing there was something better than here
I had a mental breakdown
Blew my home town
Cannot think about about
Dear God, I burn in earnest
For the ones who hate me, that's my shit

that's my shit
that's my shit
that's my shit
that's my shit
that's my shit
that's my shit
that's my, that's my, that's my!

They told me "stop those feelings"
You are not the victim
I'm a mannequin
Thoughts of beating myself left me stressed
Woke up, my life a nightmare
Screaming at all "it's not fair"
I do deserve it
I am scum
I am nothing but hatred
I can’t be helped
I'm not worth it
I am nothing
Why hate yourself when all ‘your self’ is always hated, huh?

I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear
I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear
I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear
I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear

I used to dream of a life like this
Mind like this was just a past-time, misfit
Always feeling like I could have checked it from my wishlist
All my mistakes, missed dates, missing all of it
Missing solidarity but also missing compassion
Don't miss the popularity
But i've been missing adaptin'
Attracted to all the chaos
In these walls, the subtraction
From the people peeping outside pondering "what happened?"
Because I fell off
The tracks stayed
Blame the mirror, blame the sex, blame the rat race
Blame the lying, blame the liars, blame the new fakes
Blame everything but myself, that's the new rage
I've been looking at the distance
Trying to be see the difference
Victims or omissions
Presence or selfless divisions.
Criticize coherence
Feeling nothing
No provisions
But its better to be nothing then the man who is me
Oh is little baby gonna cry to his mama?
Constant paradoxes getting him a little fawn, huh?
WILL ALWAYS BE DISGRACED SO NEVER EVER PRAY FOR ME
I CAN NOT FACE MYSELF ILL NEVER GO TO THERAPY

I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear
I can change
I can remove
Everything I love
Just to be you
I can't leave
How did I get here?
I don't know
But I live in fear
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I can change
I can’t change
I can change
I need to change
But I have to change
But I can’t change
I can’t change!

• Experimental
• Hip-Hop/Rap
• bad
• industrial
• underground hip hop
• New Zealand