Jeremy Kyle from Bad Transmission by Bad Transmission

Grimy like Frank, often rotten
marching through fields till my socks are sodden
problems forgotten, snow steady dropping
cheeks getting redder than the belly of a robin
I keep bodding, to the sounds on my iPod
dropping off some eye-drops to a cyclops
ticking like a time bomb in Saigon
I write songs and rhyme strong when the mic's on
not a dick, don't set up chumps
stand, point and laugh like I'm Nelson Muntz
and this fella's stumped like when Matty Prior
whips off his bails England off to a flyer
whittle sticks into instruments fit
to play cricket with and I hit you for 6
with my homemade bat, smash the pavilion
bring up the first Test Match million
dancing samba with some brilliant Brazilian's
more butch than Serena Williams
and I'm killin' em like I'm Lewis Hamilton
and the battle between Mercedes and McLaren'll
be like the Formula 1's
a repeat of the war our granddads fought and won
not poor and I'm definitely not rich
I've got the silky skills of Luka Modric


Ah man sod it, start a new scheme
smoking doobies, laser beams passing through me
walking DNA bar code
a lone desperado with a cargo of dark flows
in my dark dark flows there's some dark dark words
in my dark dark words there's a dark dark curse
this curse is like Tutankhamen
can harness the arsenal to harm and starve you
carve you into a bar stool with a harpoon
animated violence like an Itchy Scratchy cartoon
Mr Consistent, you're like a see-saw
don't make brews man, I get my tea poured
got my fingers in more honey's than a friend of Eeyore
more birds than the dude presenting T4
just kidding, my lucks in free-fall
so I'm eating meatballs, watching Misfits on E4


Make way and say Grace for the dudes in a hazy daze
chain blazing jay's till my throats like razor blades
have made their way down my nasal way
sounding like Macy Gray
late in the day eating takeaways
lazy days, Spaced and The Day Today
it's safe to say mate it's make or break
I better make my way before I fade to grey
so take a break... and I'm telling you why
I don't wanna stay at home and watch Jeremy Kyle
I better better my style, I better not crack
'cos I'm better than that, I bet a betting man would bet on that
reckon this big brash mish mash of shit's fat?
give me that squidgy black bifta back quick fast
syntax fresher than a tic-tac
hits fast like a sip of sherry from a hip flask

• Hip Hop
• Reggae
• dub
• hiphop
• ska
• Ulverston