FAWM 2015 by Austin Ash Lemon

A thin silver lining of my disability was disability scholarships. A 4.0 GPA pairs well with legal blindness, it turns out. All told, I think I technically made money going to college. In mid-2014, I used the spoils to overhaul my home studio. This FAWM is the first demonstration of the new gear (Demonic_3 in the Odds & Ends folder was the very first thing we ever did though).

I was in the last semester of my Bachelors degree and wasn't sure what I was gonna do afterward. Somewhere in those college years I realized that I didn't want to work on someone else's songs in a big studio. I suppose I should've dropped out the moment I knew this, but I chose to prolong adolescence for just a bit longer.

A few of these demos came at the behest of a songwriting ensemble I took part in during that last semester. It was my favorite "class" I ever took, in college or otherwise. The discoveries of the month included more Demons tracks, a concept album of dance music about maladies called Sick Beats that is never going to be finished, and a concept album about death called Curtains that is definitely going to be finished.

All I really wanted to do was find an audience for the band. This is the kind of desperation that inspires someone to do a year-long video-a-week project. TMBG was doing exactly that throughout 2015 and I used their example to device my world domination scheme. I called the project Claw Machine because of it's grab-bag-like nature and it was to launch on January 1st, 2016.

Then one morning in November, I woke up with a ringing in my ears that wouldn't go away. After years of loud rock shows, it seemed I had developed tinnitus. Now, my case is pretty mild from what I've read, but at the time, after experiencing the trauma of my strokes, the thought of losing yet another sense sent me into a full-on mental breakdown. I was suicidality depressed through the rest of the year. Despite this, I'm proud to report that Claw Machine went on as scheduled. In some ways, perhaps it helped pull me out of the funk.

You'll note that track 1 here predates any of that. I assure you, the miserable irony is not lost on me. With such cruel prescience afoot, I should just be glad I didn't contract leprosy too.

ZOLO +
SOFT ROCK =
ZOLOFT