Taxidermy Hunter from Insomnibus by Al Duvall

When I was just a stripling I was always reading Kipling
By the fire in the parlour after tea
I could see the banners rippling and the sergeant-majors tippling
And I knew colonial service was for me
I was dutiful and patient and in India was stationed
I spent holidays out shooting- wouldn’t you?
It was tigers that I wanted so I hunted in the haunted
Himalayas- what would any cat man do?
When one day I spied the tiger I desire
I tracked him up a mountain ever higher
He bravely perished when I opened fire
And wearing only tropical attire
Quite frozen I decided to expire
So I wrote a note requesting, should a climber find us resting
Have us mounted in a case for everybody to admire

Now I’m a taxidermy hunter of the animals on display
A specimen of a breed of man that’s sadly died away
I’ll hold my ground forever like the Empire proud and true
And I’ll wager that I’ve got a stiffer upper lip than you
Dead aim,hard flesh,
And a little bit of formaldehyde to keep me looking fresh
I’m no statue that is waxy I am what you call a taxidermy hunter
Ta-ra-boom-de-boom-de-ay!

If you’re looking at us posing here and wonder how it feels
Just think of a Christmas turkey or a pot of jellied eels
With trophies all around me, oh wouldn’t it be fun!
But atrophy is all I have and cannot lift me gun
Sleeping sickness doesn’t frighten me, I tell you why
For nobody has ever tried to stuff a tsetse fly
The taxidermist fancies me- a fact she can’t disguise
I catch her making eyes at me when she is making eyes

• Americana
• Comedy
• Mummer
• medicine show
• music-hall
• tenor banjo
• Brooklyn