Different Place from Chamomile by Ahnom

I have this, old way of thinking of which, came to myself a toxin/
I've been trynna find my antidote in a bottle, inside a lozenge/
but it's inside myself, inside of every place that I've been/
I've been taking it in while moving through all this personal hell in silence/
Eyelids, heavy from thinking of all the things that I wish that I did/
I de-nied myself all the joy that I could've been making writing/
And my excuses were what? That I been living up out of my trunk?
Hanif went through the same shit and tshh, he's dope as fuck/
So, I gotta sober up and move to put this bottle down/
and face that change might be the hardest pill to swallow now/
I gotta cut the ties that had me bound to ones/
that can't exist, I found they've only put these shackles on my wrists/
And now, I can't live like that and I can't live that way/
I need to make my own rather than be given fate/
I need to find it in myself for me to persevere/
Then fill my well of inspiration with my blood, sweat, and tears/

(I don't mind) So I dont mind everything that's happened or will/
It only gives me strength inside both of my hands to rebuild/
(Borrowed time) Borrowed time until I collected a debt/
But now I'm making all my own without no qualms or regrets/
(Rain or shine) Rain or shine, I'm fine being in both/
The good and bad I hold to heart and I'm keeping them close/
Then I'll... (Make it shine)
Like the stars above/

(I'm only living for the hour
That I see your face
And when that happens
I dont, wanna be no other place)

I used to be like that, but I can't live that way/
I used to wanna wait for you until the end of days/
But I can't be like that, and I can't live that way/
I'm not there anymore, I'm in a different place/

I'm in a place where I, find myself alone/
and I'm tired to my bones, while I'm, writing out these songs/
Reminiscing on ones who survived when they tried to fire chrome/
But the ones that we had lost, oh how I cried when they were gone/
How I cry for lives cut short they were trying to atone/
but inside these rhymes and poems they shine a light upon my soul/
And let me know, that everything I've been through/
has been so instrumental, for when I shine and make this pen move/
And keeping me needing to be who I am in by breathing inside of this tempo/
When I feel like I'm fading, I heal with a day in by writing out what I just let go/
and I be stressed though, but it's all good, for once it's by my own choice/
By breaking this heart, I'm making this art, and through all of it that's the whole point/
I think that maybe I've been living for this moment/
To brave these winds and torrents and then bring to you my opus/
through spoken rhyming, I found my own alignment. Soul is shining/
From completing this goal of mine of turning all this coal to diamonds/

So I dont mind everything that's happened or will/
It only gives me strength inside both of my hands to rebuild/
I borrowed time until I collected a debt/
But now I'm making all my own without no qualms or regrets/
Now, Rain or shine, I'm fine being in both/
The good and bad I hold to heart and I'm keeping them close/
And Then I'll make it shine, make it shine like what? (Make it shine)
Like the stars above/

I used to be like that, but I can't live that way/
I used to wanna wait for you until the end of days/
But I can't be like that, and I can't live that way/
I'm not there anymore, I'm in a different place/

I used to be like that, but I can't live that way/
I used to wanna wait for you until the end of days/
But I can't be like that, and I can't live that way/
I'm not there anymore, I'm in a different place/

• Hip Hop
• Hip-Hop/Rap
• Rap
• charity album
• reflective
• Portland